According to the Merriam- Webster Dictionary, ‘control’ can be defined as the following: to exercise restraining or directing influence over or to have power over. Rightfully so, the word itself can be loaded when it comes to dealing with other people. Having complete control over a person has never been apart of the Most High’s plan for man, even he gave us a choice. With love and kindness, we were drawn to the Most High and that is exactly how we should draw one another. We should never find ourselves desiring something or someone so much that we become consumed by feelings of control. At that point, we have created for ourselves an idol. There are many ways to exert control over a person. It can be done in a very direct way by just saying exactly what you mean and enforcing it until you get the desired results. Another way can be done by manipulation which is using a person’s emotions or thoughts against them to get the desired results. However, it’s done, it involves a force from within oneself that takes time, energy and thought that is channeled towards another person.
Often times, we unconsciously try to control the people we love because we may see potential in\ them or because we feel as though we know what’s best for them. Without realizing it, we start saying and doing things in attempt to change their minds or actions. Our thoughts become consumed with thoughts on how to get them to do the things we want them to do. Questions begin seeking answers like, “how can I get them to get their life in order” or “how can I make him love me?” Questions like these arise all the time in close relationships but we have to realize that it’s the Most High who has control over every situation.
There is nothing more exhausting and life draining than trying to control someone who does not want the same thing for their life that you want for their life. We must learn how to mentally and emotionally take our hands off of situations like that. It’s like playing tug-a-war then realizing that in the midst of tugging, your hand gets smashed from being so entangled in the rope. Bones begin to break and now your hand is useless. The same concept applies to our mental, physical, and spiritual state of being. We serve a Creator that is all powerful and our prayers to him do get through as long as we are doing his will. Although we may have desires for others, praying that his will be done is the best prayer that we can pray. As his servants upon this earth, we live to serve him. Controlling our lives or the lives of others has never been his will. We can obtain more peace in our lives by just letting him take the wheel as we accept the things that he has for us and for those we love.
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